Paragraphs 7-10: Yo Zhan (優旃)
Yo Zhan, a dwarf and a court entertainer in the Qin Dynasty, excelled in jokes and jests. And yet his joking and jesting often serves righteous causes. Once, when Qin Shi-Huang was in reign, a royal banquet was decreed by Qin and followed by rain. All the royal guards were posted where rain could reach and cold could affect. Yo Zhan saw this and pitied them, and so he asked the guards, "Do you fancy a rest?" All guards answered, "That would be great." Yo Zhan then said, "I shall later call on you and you shall respond with "Yes!" accordingly." Later on, all hailed Qin at court. At that time, Yo Zhan suddenly turned to the guards, leaning on the rails from high, shouting, "Guards in arms!" The guards responded with "Yes!" Yo Zhan then started jesting them, "Your tallness blesses you with a position in the rain; my shortness blesses me with a position under the roof!" Hearing this, Qin ordered the guards to work on shifts and in half their number so as to replace each other and to rest.
Another time, Qin suggested an extension for his royal hunting park. When the extension completed, the part will border on the Hangu Pass (函谷關) in the east and border on the Yong City (雍) and the Chen Cang County (陳倉) in the west. Yo Zhan replied, "What a great idea! Make sure we keep enough beasts in the park so that we can easily defend any invasion from the east by sending the elks to gore the enemies alone." At this, Qin dropped the idea.
When Qin Er-Shi (the Second Emperor of Qin, Qin Shi-Huang's son) ascended the throne, he would like to have the Great Wall painted. Yo Zhan resonded, "What a great idea! Even if Your Majesty did not suggest it, I would take the liberty. Although painting the Wall shall tax the people heavily for its coast, but it is good. It is good in that the paint shall render the Wall so stately that it keeps the enemies from climbing it. Even if they dare to try, they shall be tainted with paint, because it is hard to find a space big enough to dry such a coating of paint." Qin Er-Shi then laughed and dropped the idea. Soon, Qin Er-Shi was killed and the Qin Dynasty ended. Yo Zhan surrendered to the succeeding Han Court. Years afterwards, Yo Zhan died.
The Grand Historian Sima Qian says, "Chunyu Kun laughs and Weiwang thrives; Yo Meng sings and the firewood gatherer is granted fief; Yo Zhan jests and the guards rest. Is this not great?"
*優旃 (zhan1)者，秦倡(chang1)侏儒也。善為笑言，然合於大道。秦始皇時，置酒而天雨，陛楯(shun3)者皆沾寒。優旃見而哀之，謂之曰：「汝 欲休乎？」陛楯者皆曰：「幸甚。」優旃曰： 「我即呼汝，汝疾應曰諾。」居有頃，殿上上壽呼萬歲。優旃臨檻大 呼曰：「陛楯郎！」郎曰：「諾。」優旃曰：「汝雖長(chang2)，何益，幸雨立。我雖短也， 幸休居。」於是始皇使陛楯者得半相代。
始皇嘗議欲大苑囿，東至函谷關，西至雍、陳倉。優旃曰：「善。多縱禽獸 於其中，寇從東方來，令麋鹿觸之足矣。」始皇以故輟止。
二世立，又欲漆其城。優旃曰：「善。主上雖無言，臣固將請之。漆城雖於百姓愁費，然佳哉！漆城蕩蕩，寇來不能上。即欲就之，易為漆耳，顧難為蔭室。」 於是二世笑之，以其故止。居無何，二世殺死，優旃歸漢，數年而卒。
太史公曰：淳于髡仰天大笑，齊威王橫行。優孟搖頭而歌，負薪者以封。優旃臨檻疾呼， 陛楯得以半更(geng1)。豈不亦偉哉！
**The original paragraph in Chinese is taken from: Sima Qian. Ed. Han Zhaoqi. New Translation Shiji. vol.VIII. Taipei: Sanmin, 2008. 4952, 4954. (司馬遷. 韓兆琦 注譯. 新譯史記, 第八冊. 臺北市：三民, 2008. 4952, 4954頁. ISBN: 978-95-14-5001-8). All translation is based upon the text and annotations thereof (4953, 4955).
***All translation is mine.
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